Losing the "Us"

Twelve minutes before midnight and yet I am still awake. Thoughts keep flooding my mind and things keep popping in my head. Worst is, the truth that you’re not here by my side keeps me from sleeping.

I don’t know why things between us gone wrong. All I know is that I am deeply in love with you. You said you love me too but your acts say you never love me. You said you care for me but it is the other way round. You are stabbing my heart and breaking it into pieces. Your love is the air that I breathe and yet you took it away from me and it kills me silently.

All I want is you to love me back. All I am asking for is you stay here by my side and be my lady for the rest of our lives. We are never like this before. I am longing for our old days. The old days when we are so in love with each other. The old days when we paint each other’s world red. I miss the days when we only knew about our love and we never think of what other people may say to us.

But where are we now? Gone all the happy days that we had. My heart is bleeding and worst it is broken into parts. Isn’t there any chance that we can mend what is already broken? Isn’t there any way where we can still make up the differences that we have. I am so down without you. I am helpless and hopeless. All I know is that I can’t live without your love.

The agony inside me keeps on pushing me into the darkness. From here, I do not know where I am going to. From here, I do not know what I am going to do. It really hurts me but I have to accept that you had gone and live your own life away from me. Though it is hard, I have to live also my own life away from you. I never imagined life this before but I have to learn things without you.

I hope someday, the wounds will heal. I hope someday the pain will stop. And when that day will come, it is the day that I can say that the love is over and I finally lost the “us”.